Saturday, October 20, 2007

Dazed and Confused

Me [to unwell patient]: So, in order to monitor your fluid balance we're going to have to put in a urinary catheter to watch how much urine you're putting out.
Old adorable lady with dementia in the next bed: Can I have one too?

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Scary rather than amusing

SCENE: A Slow Day On The Medical Ward

Nurse J: Can you have a look at this [heart] monitor for me?
Me [looks up]: Sure!
[Snipergirl looks at monitor]
Me [looking at wrong monitor]: Wait, did that patient just have a run of 5 beats of VT?!
Nurse J: Wait, where?
Me: The top monitor! What should I do?
Nurse D: Well, I guess you could call the ward, make sure the patient's ok?
Me: Alright, I guess I'll call them. Oh, and that rhythm on your patient's paced.
Nurse J: Ah, it is too!
[2x failed attempts to contact ward]
Me: Ah fuck it, ICU will call the ward anyway, they're monitoring it automatically after all.

5 Minutes Later

Nurse K: Quick, call a code blue! [cardiac arrest]
Announcement: CODE BLUE MEDICAL _____, CODE BLUE MEDICAL ______ !
[Snipergirl sprints to the rescue]
Snipergirl: Oh. It was that patient after all. Fuck.


NB: As it turns out, ICU did see the monitored rhythm and were on their way regardless... thus explaining the code blue. Scary though nonetheless.