Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Where do I find these people? Part One

In a direct followup to the previous post, we have another edition of...

WHERE DO I FIND THESE PEOPLE?!

Today we will examine the a sample of the various pickup lines and flirting methods (I think this is the most reasonable explanation of what they were trying to do) that people have once used on me.

My room, 6 a.m. The phone rings.

Me: Hello?
Ben4Sex: Hey, it's Ben here.
Me: Why are you calling me at 6 a.m?
Ben4Sex: Can I come over? I've been out all night
Me: No.

Later:

Me: I'm sorry, I'm busy all week at class. And at my part-time job bathing ducklings.

On a Second Date

Guy: ...and then I had this horrible skin condition as a child and all my skin peeled off.

Later:

Me: I think I'm gay.

At the Groove Armada Concert

I am walking to the bar with Fearsome Beret
Random Girl: Is that your boyfriend? [points to Fearsome Beret]
Me: No...
Random Girl: Because you could do so much better...
I walk away quickly

At the Peel

Guy: Would you like to dance?
Me: Sure, why not?
We dance
Guy: Would you like to watch me masturbate?
Me: WHAT? No!
I walk away quickly

In my house

Girl with the Red-Haired Boyfriend: Are you a prostitute?

I am not sure what possesses people to think that these tactics will even vaguely work. I can't think of anything more off-putting than these methods! Excepting, you know, if a girl asked you if she could take a dump on your chest.

2 comments:

The Predator said...

Well it certainly is more interesting then "Sooo....do you come here often?" !

Snipergirl said...

"Sooo... do you like... stuff?"