Sunday, November 13, 2005

Unsubtle Enquiries

So, this fine evening, the following “interesting interchanges” went on between me and other people of my acquaintance out of the blue:

Girl With The Red-Haired Boyfriend: I have a random question for you...
: Go for it
Girl With The Red-Haired Boyfriend: Are you... a prostitute?
Me: Huh?
Girl With The Red-Haired Boyfriend: Are you a prostitute?
Me: What? No!
[Awkward pause]
Me: What on earth gave you that idea?
Girl With The Red-Haired Boyfriend: Oh, Red-Haired Boyfriend and I went past your room about a week ago and there were two guys outside your room. And then a few days later you had some other people over, and we were a bit drunk, so we just assumed...
Me: Oh. Right. Well, I’m not.


Girl With The Red-Haired Boyfriend: So, Red-Haired Boyfriend was sort of talking about how he’s surprised that I’ve never slept with a girl. And then he said something about how he once had this threesome where his ex’s friend just came in while they were having sex and he didn’t really enjoy it. And then sort of said that he didn’t mind if I slept with girls and suggested that maybe we should have a threesome...
Me: Oh, OK.
Girl With The Red-Haired Boyfriend: So, I just can’t really work out whether I want to or not. I really can’t. Like, maybe I couldn’t, but maybe I could, and I’ve just been thinking about it ever since...
Me: Uhhh. Yeah.

Even Later:

Girl With The Red-Haired Boyfriend: Yeah, so I went for an interview for nude modelling.
Me: What was it like?
Girl With The Red-Haired Boyfriend: Well, I was expecting it to be more artistic, you know? But it was sort of, well, pornographic, I think. So I didn’t really sign up.
Me: Sure, sure you didn’t.

[Exit Girl With The Red-Haired Boyfriend Stage Left]


Me: My housemate just asked me if I was a prostitute
Pet0r: Did you say yes?
Pet0r: Tell her you won’t do her for less than $100
Pet0r: In the bath
Pet0r: Offer to shave her for $40
Me: And then she started going on about enquiring about nude modelling
Pet0r: LMAO
Pet0r: You should have said, well I could pay you $50/hour for shots for my NEW site, but it isn't being launched for a while yet
Me: "You can have a discount for my services if you forgo your fee"

Aetherfox: Post her pic
Aetherfox: I wanna see if she’s hot

I blame the recent appearance of Tendafoot and Charhate in my lives as their counterparts Sexy Ryan and Sexy Alan, the quantum-entangled repopulaters of the human race for these happenings...

This whole incident very much surprises me. Before this, the closest I have come to prostitution was that time someone gave me $5 for my pair of socks.

I sold my soles for $5. Har har.


nomercyboy said...

Sounds like she's totally hitting on you.

Or at least wants you to join in that threesome.

Snipergirl said...

It's time for another round of...


nomercyboy said...

I spose that counts as college, really.

Snipergirl said...

Roffles all round!

Fucking college.

But not literally.