Monday, October 17, 2005

Minor Propositions

After this post, and this post, it is clear to see what is happening to dear Aetherfox. So I was not all that surprised to see that he was listening to a Hilary Duff song. Upon further questioning it became clear that he had acquired this item nonchalantly as it was the soundtrack to a premium paedo website. This somehow led to the obvious question: Is it illegal to possess pictures of the hotter, computer generated Cho Chang with her face 'shopped onto the body of a pornstar? What if it's Hermione?

In due course, we were led to the following observations:
  1. The sign of a paedo? You don't give her flowers, you give her candy.
  2. The sign of a paedo rapist? You walk around the corner, dress up in a Mickey Mouse suit and steal the candy back.
  3. The true sign of a paedo? You walk around in a fedora.
It soon came to light that Aetherfox was indeed in possession of the songs of the ultimate in paedo bait, Nikki Webster, and soon a disturbing fact was brought to light. The astronomical rise in the popularities of these fresh-faced supple young saplings of girlhood, these symbols of corruptible innocence if you will, was clearly due to their marketing to the paedophile audience. Case in point? "Anywhere but Here" by the Duff herself.

The culmination of this sequence of thoughts was indeed, that there was an unmissable financial opportunity available! Yes, that is correct, a compilation CD called "Paedo Bait 2005 Vol. 1" featuring the "music" of Hilary Duff, Nikki Webster and Amanda Bynes, with secret 'shopped hybrid photos encoded into the music files- including the faces of prominent Harry Potter pinup girls.

Soon, sick of the endless progression of childlike fake eargasms, Aetherfox changed the music he was listening to abruptly.

To Kelly Clarkson.


nomercyboy said...

:( I like Kelly Clarkson.

Snipergirl said...

You and 5 million small girls can't be wrong, good sir...

jerng said...

nice pwnage of the stats guy :P

Aubrey said...

Kelly Clarkson: Yet another mistake America needs to apologize for.

Snipergirl said...


Oh, and welcome back, fair Aubrey!