Sunday, October 02, 2005

Fred Nile (Reprinted from

Fred Nile is an Australian politician and pirate who is of what is usually assumed to be Fundamentalist Christian right-wing persuasion. However, this is merely a facade for his secret links with the Australian mafia, pirates and University of Melbourne Student Union.

Political career

Fred Nile's current political career began in the year 1506 when he initiated what would become the Gunpowder Plot in protest over the Australian government's persecution of pirates. After a quite thorough character assassination as punishment (he was hung from the rafters of that ugly building in Canberra), he managed to reincarnate himself as a Zombie Christian fundamentalist Senate candidate.

After several attempts to control the Australian Senate, with various degrees of success (opposed by the Australian "Prime Minister" John Howard), Fred Nile is thought to have developed links with the mafia. Not long after this, he was recruited by several Socialist factions at the University of Melbourne Student Union as a political consultant. He in fact during this period stole a pirate ship from a fat Tasmanian lesbian pirate known as Robyn and donated it to the anti-VSU campaign. This pirate ship was then adorned with slogans referring to treasure and arse.

Not long after this, it was announced that Fred Nile was launching a campaign to run for the position of Queer Office bearer in the University of Melbourne Student Union elections. His platform was to be that of prayer and conversion to support the sinners in their sin. And also to provide hitman-type services for queer students for a fee and to provide "even more pirate ships".

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