Monday, October 17, 2005

Minor Propositions

After this post, and this post, it is clear to see what is happening to dear Aetherfox. So I was not all that surprised to see that he was listening to a Hilary Duff song. Upon further questioning it became clear that he had acquired this item nonchalantly as it was the soundtrack to a premium paedo website. This somehow led to the obvious question: Is it illegal to possess pictures of the hotter, computer generated Cho Chang with her face 'shopped onto the body of a pornstar? What if it's Hermione?

In due course, we were led to the following observations:
  1. The sign of a paedo? You don't give her flowers, you give her candy.
  2. The sign of a paedo rapist? You walk around the corner, dress up in a Mickey Mouse suit and steal the candy back.
  3. The true sign of a paedo? You walk around in a fedora.
It soon came to light that Aetherfox was indeed in possession of the songs of the ultimate in paedo bait, Nikki Webster, and soon a disturbing fact was brought to light. The astronomical rise in the popularities of these fresh-faced supple young saplings of girlhood, these symbols of corruptible innocence if you will, was clearly due to their marketing to the paedophile audience. Case in point? "Anywhere but Here" by the Duff herself.

The culmination of this sequence of thoughts was indeed, that there was an unmissable financial opportunity available! Yes, that is correct, a compilation CD called "Paedo Bait 2005 Vol. 1" featuring the "music" of Hilary Duff, Nikki Webster and Amanda Bynes, with secret 'shopped hybrid photos encoded into the music files- including the faces of prominent Harry Potter pinup girls.

Soon, sick of the endless progression of childlike fake eargasms, Aetherfox changed the music he was listening to abruptly.

To Kelly Clarkson.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

A Surprising Turn of Events

It seems that my future experiences of worming orphans in Somalia and, hopefully, defeating Fred Nile at his piratical political career, have taken a turn for the more bizarre:

Fred Nile Strikes Again!

I am appalled and disgusted by the lengths to which this political animal will sink. Depriving Somalian orphans of their food indeed! And purely for the purpose of fulfilling election promises in the University of Melbourne Student Union elections. While, as Siren Elmira the Seductress may attest, these are elections without equal in terms of world influence, I feel that such an act is both depraved and shows once more the lengths to which Christian Fundamentalists will go in order to take over the world.

Now Gloria Jeans, that's another matter altogether...

Monday, October 10, 2005

Nomenclature

So, I've been called yet another weirdo variation upon my name. Today I will summarise the ongoing weirdness that is other people and their inability to pronounce the name Thilini. Yes, I have been referred to by all of the following names.

Evil alter egos:
  • Villany
  • Tyranny
  • Khilini
Good alter egos:
  • Trinity
Ditsy yet morally neutral alter egos:
  • Tiffany
  • Thilicity
Greek alter egos:
  • Thillanis
One wonders why the "creative" minds involved in this rebranding of Snipergirl have not been employed by some similarly "creative" employer.

Like Bollywood.

Friday, October 07, 2005

On The Nature of Geekdom

[p class = “Chat Transcript”]

Snipergirl: have you seen da sydney p33pZ0rs?
Sydney Girl: what?
Sydney Girl: lol
Snipergirl: the sydney p33pZ0rs. they're a travelling circus of geeks.
Snipergirl: as in the kind who bite heads off chickens
Sydney Girl: nooo
Sydney Girl: yuck
Sydney Girl: i don;t want to see them
Sydney Girl: ahaha
Snipergirl: they're great
Snipergirl: i saw them when they came down to melbourne
Sydney Girl: what did they do
Sydney Girl: kill chickens?
Snipergirl: well, sort of... but they did it in entertaining and creative ways,.,
Snipergirl: like, there was a bit where they juggled the heads
Sydney Girl: yucko
Sydney Girl: lol
Snipergirl: and they managed to co-ordinate the dead chickens so that they ran around synchronised
Sydney Girl: no way
Sydney Girl: ahaha how funny
Snipergirl: i KNOW!
Snipergirl: it was one of the highlights of the show
Snipergirl: and as you would expect from geeks, there was a myriad of interesting electronic gear
Snipergirl: plus, they all spoke in l33t
Sydney Girl: what is that?
Snipergirl: you know, that geek language where they put numbers in everything
Sydney Girl: hmmm hmmmm
Sydney Girl: no
Sydney Girl: ahaha
Snipergirl: lol
Snipergirl: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leet
Sydney Girl: taa
Snipergirl: http://www.google.com/intl/xx-hacker/
Snipergirl: anyway i think you should go see them
Snipergirl: they're doing a world tour at the moment i think... but i'm guessing htey'll be back in sydney soon enough
Sydney Girl: yeah where are they from
Snipergirl: sydney
Snipergirl: duh
Sydney Girl: ok ok
Snipergirl: *sigh*
Snipergirl: anyway i am hungry as
Sydney Girl: yeah me too i might eat soon and do some uni stuff
Snipergirl: awesome
Snipergirl: catchya later dudette

[/p]

Monday, October 03, 2005

Mile High Club!

'Twas a fine day upon which I decided to plan my future around the world trip with the help of the trusty Siren Elmira the Seductress. For he had a wealth of experience in regards to air travel, and I, as a future medical professional, required a round-the-world ticket to deliver me to such ports as Auckland International Airport (AKL), New York's John F Kennedy International Airport (JFK) and London's Heathrow Airport (LHR). Let it be known also that the Siren has a wealth of tools at his disposal in regards to those much vaunted airline perks: the class upgrade.

The first question was, of course, which airline consortium I wished to fly- OneWorld or Star Alliance. For what few know is that they are in fact the rival puppet masters of the skies; the Illuminati and the Freemasons if you will. There are a myriad set of complex rules and requirements that cement the free upgrade. It is an arcane set of contortions that one must perform for this promotion, and indeed it has been described thusly:
"Sometimes you just have to wait for someone in a higher position to die."
And in fact it was the case that not so long ago an expatriate maid returning home upon a British Airways flight expired mid-flight and had to be kept in the empty First Class cabin. As one air hostess stated:
"Poor old bird, it's the only way she would have gotten upgraded."
Upon Singapore Airlines it is of course standard for planes to have within them a corpse cupboard in case of such grievous events. Possibly because so many maids fly on it, and are therefore more likely to expire.

What many do not realise is that main reason for the Siren's frequent air travel is to make use of his bisexual tendencies with the lovely ladies of the sky. Sometimes he even uses it as an excuse to breed and "drop a litter". However this is somewhat of a problem upon British Airways. For you see, those flight attendants are the hottest women that Britain can muster. You are much better off in Business Class where you are to be served by the sexiest men of Britain, the expatriate Wild Sheeps. Some of these are in fact Weresheep, men who have been affected by the "Polymorph" spell and now fluctuate between human and sheep form and are therefore lovely and fluffy all over.

Now, many of you may believe that Wild Sheeps originate from the country of my first travel destination, New Zealand. However this is a fallacy. While New Zealand may be the largest population of Wild Sheeps in the world, their true home is the Bronx in that second destination of mine, New York City. These native purebred Wild Sheeps are tough bastards, not to be crossed. Woe betide anyone who points out the colour of a black sheep's wool in the Bronx. In fact they often drop many a litter after breeding.

Now, while I was rather satisfied by my choice of travel agent in this matter, The Musketeer and Aku Soku Zan were less so. In fact they believe that in this current climate of airplane uncertainty, that I shall end up on precisely the wrong flight, on my way to a small airport in the middle of nowhere upon a rickety Cessna. That's right, kids. In 2 years from now, you may find me deworming orphans in Somalia.

Intriguing!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Fred Nile (Reprinted from uncyclopedia.org)

Fred Nile is an Australian politician and pirate who is of what is usually assumed to be Fundamentalist Christian right-wing persuasion. However, this is merely a facade for his secret links with the Australian mafia, pirates and University of Melbourne Student Union.

Political career

Fred Nile's current political career began in the year 1506 when he initiated what would become the Gunpowder Plot in protest over the Australian government's persecution of pirates. After a quite thorough character assassination as punishment (he was hung from the rafters of that ugly building in Canberra), he managed to reincarnate himself as a Zombie Christian fundamentalist Senate candidate.

After several attempts to control the Australian Senate, with various degrees of success (opposed by the Australian "Prime Minister" John Howard), Fred Nile is thought to have developed links with the mafia. Not long after this, he was recruited by several Socialist factions at the University of Melbourne Student Union as a political consultant. He in fact during this period stole a pirate ship from a fat Tasmanian lesbian pirate known as Robyn and donated it to the anti-VSU campaign. This pirate ship was then adorned with slogans referring to treasure and arse.

Not long after this, it was announced that Fred Nile was launching a campaign to run for the position of Queer Office bearer in the University of Melbourne Student Union elections. His platform was to be that of prayer and conversion to support the sinners in their sin. And also to provide hitman-type services for queer students for a fee and to provide "even more pirate ships".