Saturday, August 13, 2005

By Popular Request...

And now, dear readers, a post which is sorely overdue. The account of a night two months ago...

THE NIGHT OF WHEN WE HUNG OUT WITH BIG GIRL, PREDATOR, PIGEON-RAT AND THEIR CAT AT THEIR HOUSE!

So, there we were, we being of course me, Big Girl, Predator, Pigeon-Rat, Pet0r and Kitten's Boyfriend, and the cat Se7en. After some thai and vodkas, of course the conversation got a little feisty. Turns out that there was this one time that Big Girl unknowingly put her finger up her pussy (7). Predator no like. Things of course took a turn for the more extreme.
The truth is, as many of us have suspected, that a sneeze is truly a thousanth of an orgasm. Pet0r, when sneezing, a delightful pleasure, always falls down while engaging in this activity, and thus the term fallgasm originated:
(n.) an orgasm sustained while falling (Olde Englishe).
The other truth is, as the CommuNazi suspected, far more bizarre than rumour. For Big Girl and Predator, were experiencing "marital difficulties". Thus they decided to have a threesome with TV's most famous lesbian entertainer Ellen. Then Predator and Ellen merged to form an entity known as MichEllEn. Unfortunately, Ellen fell in love with Big Girl, demerged with Predator and then proclaimed her love in the following sentence:
"YOU BITCH!"
And then she ran away back to TV land and then went out with Portia de Rossi. They are not reported to have any more threesomes as PorshcEllen.
Later it turned out that Big Girl was really really really sexy, and liked to stroke her angina, which is like a vagina in your chest, while her pussy looked on, jealous (VII). This resulted in her having dyslexia.

POSTSCRIPT: REVENGE OF THE COCKRINGS

Today I met up with Pigeon-Rat and Predator at the Victoria Markets. As we proceeded back to
....this broadcast is being taken over by the Predator...wahahaha....I would you you all to know the truth, dear readers, that the sweet and innocent Snipergirl that you all know is really an evil sexual predator who propositions sweet shop keepers by walking into sex shops and requesting a "glass of water". Once she has this "glass of water", and lets face it, we all know what that is a euphamism for....she proceeds to make a date with him so she may go and perform kinky acts with him the following weekend with the objects in his store. She was heard to shriek "oh my god..what is this for", quite often and will, I imagine, be expecting a demonstration next week.

8 comments:

Snipergirl said...

Isn't it interesting how the word "date" can refer to going out with someone in a romantic sense, the fruit of a palm tree and to the day of the year?

Aubrey said...

And how fucker can be a verb.

Snipergirl said...

Also, how sometimes "I don't love you" can mean its opposite, as can "I love you".

Keith Tan said...

Interesting, this Fallagasm phenomenon. Explains the numerous skydivers I've seen completing their dives with wet crotches and red faces...

Snipergirl said...

Oh no...

I'm too sexy for my plane...

Viridiancircle said...

Also strange how the word 'scale' can refer to a flake of lizard's skin, climbing a wall, a balancing apparatus, or a measure of length on a map.

New words:
Polypyphonic - when you squeeze a snake so that it makes various interesting noises.
Stocktail - when you spill a cocktail on stockings, making them tastier.

nomercyboy said...

lol, I can't wait to try one of those stocktails.

Snipergirl said...

Oh those businessmen and their stocktail parties...