Thursday, April 07, 2005

The Gay Republic of Fiji, part two

And in a coincidental and repulsive twist of fate, dear brothers, sisters and otherwise-gendered siblings...

We have cause to begin our invasion! It seems that the decidedly Non-Gay Republic of the Fiji Islands has decided to wreak revenge on us non-heteronormative ones for our comrade George Speight's failed coup. It seems that an Australian man, and the Fijian man he slept with have pleaded guilty to homosexual acts, and face a sentence of up to 14 years in prison. We must avenge our brothers and rise up in arms! With a Gay Republic of Fiji we can offer these poor men asylum within our borders!

Viva la revolución!

13 comments:

Keith Tan said...

Duuuude!

OMG...that judge was....so very GAY!

Like duuuuude!
Homophobia is totally gay!

Snipergirl said...

OMG your comment was so, like, gay.

I mean offensive. As a Wom*n I am repulsed by your use of the term "gay". For one thing, using the term "gay" is anti-Queer. For another thing I believe we should use the terms "lesbian" and "those fucking patriarchal bastards who drive around in 4 wheel drives and discriminate against wom*n by refusing to be attracted to them" to refer to those who identify as exclusively homosexual.

S*r, I am appall*d.

Keith Tan said...

Crap yeah...I forgot it's meant to be anti-Queer.

But ya know...you're not doing urself a favour of even using the word wom*n. It still pronounces and looks WO-MEN!!!

So I suggest you choreograph an interpretive dance. A cross between techno and doing the Marzuka should suit.

Snipergirl said...

Just because I choose to express myself through the wom*nly means of interpretive dance (which by the way entirely bypasses this "wo-man" business by not requiring words for communication) does not mean that I like Mazurkas! Take that back! I only listen to Melissa Etheridge and Ani DiFranco! Fuck you and your untouchable face!

I suggest you commune with Mother Earth in the Tibetan Himalayas before you lock horns with me again, fuckface.

Snipergirl said...

Oh no. I used the word "fuck". That has WAY too many references to penetrative sex within it.

*falls down*

Aubrey said...

Are the acts the judge referred to as 'making a normal person vomit' just plain old tame anal sex? because trust and believe, it takes far more than that to make my dog throw up. Like a short drive to Costco.

Snipergirl said...

"Costco... even more vomitworthy than being fucked up the arse."

Seriously though, what is Costco and how does it cause your dog to barf?

Aubrey said...

Costco is a bulkfood, warehouse style wholesale store.

My dog (whom we considered naming Barf but settled on on Tybalt) gets motion sickness with ridiculous ease. Sidenote, he is an Australian Cattle dog.

Anonymous said...

cries from confusion....this conversation is insane

David said...

He gets motion sickness with ease, and is a cattledog? That dog has no place on any farm of mine...good thing I don't have a farm then :)

I find it humourous that when trying not to spell Woman with the word man in it, females often use Womyn, which of course is the exact chromosone you need to get a man.

Snipergirl said...

And that, my dear heteronormative non-gender specific Homo sapien, is why we now use the term Wom*n. The * looks like an X, while the * as a wildcard character not only subverts the contrictive and oppressive 26-character norm of patriarchal English spelling, but also completely bypasses the ridiculous dichotomy between self-identified Women and Womyn which threatened to render the anti-patriarchal movement useless! I vote for the abolition of this current structure which privileges white, heterosexually identifying, English-speaking, Protestant, upper-middle class males! The incorporation of currently useless symbols and non-Latin characters can only enrich our currently bland language!

Viv@ |_@ R#v0luc10&! ¶Σ>*℅€!!!

Zimri said...

Last I heard from the state just to the north of us (Oklahoma), the judge got caught using a penis-pump while his court was in session. I wonder if this judge in Fiji's been known to "pound the gavel" ...

Snipergirl said...

You know, I really wouldn't be surprised. *Insert joke about repressed homosexual feelings and homophobia here*.

Oh well, time for me to "hit the books". I mean... ummm... study some anatomy... Uhhh. Crap.