Friday, January 21, 2005

True Ambition

Sarah and I know exactly what we are going to do when we grow old... I will be a crazy old cat woman and she will be a crazy old dog woman. We will live in the same apartment block cursing the "young people" and throwing hard objects at them. It will appear that we are waging wars against each other but the truth is that we are doing it for our own amusement. And of course there's the ridiculously large amounts of money under the floorboards that we stash there because we used to be rich doctors but have now turned into miserly old ladies living in squalor! We will own a huge python and an iguana, and of course a huge car with a moose stuck in the fender. And some random mounted aminal heads above our fireplaces.

Unfortunately by that point Chris Medicine and Laura Evangelista will have married each other and reproduced and created hordes of evil offspring, Christa and Lauron. We will of course combat them with the many love children of the snake and the lizard, Iguon and Pythana.

Ending up old and alone has never been this cool!

12 comments:

Aubrey said...

Memo to Crazy Cat and Dog lady:
You bathe the dogs in catnip, and the cats in meat sauce, and when 3am rolls around....

Snipergirl said...

That would lead to strange lovin'. I'm seeing a whole lot of oral activity going on down there. Hopefully not resulting in many Catdogs as a result. Like seriously, how does that thing shit exactly?

Aubrey said...

I was thinking they'd make a racket that would wake the deaf, but I suppose mating is a nasty possibility as well.

Anonymous said...

Will you give one cat nothing but wine to drink and name it Victoria?

Snipergirl said...

Now that you mention it... I don't see why not! Who are you o fateful Anonymous?

queerlittleprincess said...

Yeah I am looking forward to being old and alone too. I'm going to live in the forest and be the crazy old scary lady that the children all avoid.

David said...

can we make you a house out of gingerbread and lollies, and capture the people who try to eat bits off it?

Snipergirl said...

Mmm... children pie...

Snipergirl said...

Lol, ok, I finally got the Victoria and wine reference. The answer is "yes" and "If there are any cats with big noses I will call them Ben".

Chris Medicine said...

Holy Shit! I pray that your marriage prophecies are mistaken!!!! :-/

Laura Evangelista said...

My God... they need to be saved! Who are these people?

Snipergirl said...

loooooool
that is totally... like... goosh