Friday, January 21, 2005

True Ambition

Sarah and I know exactly what we are going to do when we grow old... I will be a crazy old cat woman and she will be a crazy old dog woman. We will live in the same apartment block cursing the "young people" and throwing hard objects at them. It will appear that we are waging wars against each other but the truth is that we are doing it for our own amusement. And of course there's the ridiculously large amounts of money under the floorboards that we stash there because we used to be rich doctors but have now turned into miserly old ladies living in squalor! We will own a huge python and an iguana, and of course a huge car with a moose stuck in the fender. And some random mounted aminal heads above our fireplaces.

Unfortunately by that point Chris Medicine and Laura Evangelista will have married each other and reproduced and created hordes of evil offspring, Christa and Lauron. We will of course combat them with the many love children of the snake and the lizard, Iguon and Pythana.

Ending up old and alone has never been this cool!

Thursday, January 20, 2005

6 month and 1 week anniversary

That's right kids, it's been 6 months (and a week because my computer died and the new one took a week to arrive). This officially makes this blog the longest running writing project and almost the largest feat of writing I have ever produced.

Hoo-ray!

Spontaneous Media Generation

< rant>
And in other news I am right royally pissed off with everyone not from my own generation. The baby boomers keep going on about how we, the "MTV Generation", "won't grow up"- because we're not marrying our high school sweethearts at 21, having 2.5 kids, getting a mortgage and then fucking it up and getting divorced at 40. Somehow this equates to us being collectively immature. In my opinion, it just means that times have changed. People need to have security and an income before they an afford a home and we've decided we actually want to know the people we spend the rest of our lives with first (unlike certain other people). We want to explore the world and learn and grow before we commit. I think that's a remarkably mature thing to do. And if people think playing computer games makes our generation childish, they are deluded. The games industry makes more money than Hollywood, and probably produces better quality art. In my opinion the middle-aged are once again being fusty, old and selfish. They just can't get over the idea that one day they will not be the ones running the world. Yes that's right, we're upstarts and we're taking over!

And now we get to the kids of today. They really do seem to be throwbacks to some weird and conservative era combined with this sluttiness. Then again I suppose we have to wait for them to turn 20 or whatever before we can decide on their worthiness or lack thereof. I guess back when I was 10 my generation were supposed to speak like this: "dude, like I totally saw this awesome rad stuff, like, duuuuuuuude!" Or otherwise be angsty little shits. Yes that's right, we are all either goths or surfers. I am currently annoyed about the "young people" because of some article that some dumb private school kid wrote in the Sydney Morning Herald. Thanks to her now people think young people are composed of conservative gits who just want to get married and have children while having a token career. With the woman being the primary parent of course. Because you know what, we're not the MTV generation, no, we're the 3rd wave bloody feminism generation. And guess what, apparently all girls want is commitment but evil boys with their "cohabitation" and their "pre-marital sex" have tricked innocent brides-in-waiting into *gasp* losing their virginity and succumbing to the unworthy lifestyle of living in SIN. Never mind the fact that half the girls I know just want a shag and half the guys I know want to look after their kids. No, of course the complexities of the real world don't exist if you're one of the "youth of the year 2000". And where the hell am I supposed to fit into this schema of the world? Oh that's right, I'm going to fall in love and marry another woman and have dogs and kids because that's all a woman actually wants and anyway, all lesbians are like that, down to the square haircut and hairy armpits. Turkey Baster!

I hereby declare my resignation from the MTV generation. I am now officially part of The Simpsons generation.
< /rant>

Saturday, January 01, 2005

The Infernal Web of Soul Conduits

So as it turns out, Network Admin Fangirl is not actually someone with a geek fetish. The truth is far more disturbing...

You see, Aetherfox is moving into an apartment with her. However when it seemed like he might be unable to stay for the semester, her family, oddly and disturbingly enough, seemed to think he was now somehow responsible for her. Aetherfox suddenly realised that he had entered into a bargain of the most diabolic kind.
For the truth is that Network Admin Fangirl is a soul vampire, secretly forming soul-conduits with her victims and leeching their L33t Sk1llz from them in the dead of the night! However her conduits are distance dependent- they require you to be nearby in order to work properly. This is why she wanted to move in with him!
He also cursed his hastiness in dropping his Introduction to Demonology Systems subject- though arguably the fact that he was of a technological persuasion would have rendered his magick somewhat useless. He would have to enlist the help of that famous witch of his acquaintance, the dreaded Oracle!
It came to him then that the signs had been all too clear. First his colleague Nathy had fallen prey to her charms. However he was too pale to withstand her leeching for long. Hingon however was immune- he was so pale that he had obviously been leeched past the point of further leeching by Athena- Athena was not nearly as dark when she entered college! And then of course there was Full Sexual Intercourse, Nathy's flatmate, who also was as pale as sin. Was it possible that he too had been leeched?
He wondered what direction this Infernal Web of Soul Conduits, this iwsc://NetworkAdminFangirl.com if you will would take next. Perhaps even if he was to escape, someone such as Sexy Black French Guy would take his place.

The poor bastard.