Tuesday, December 21, 2004

"Original" is another word for "special"

I am not usually a cruel person. However Gen sent me the link to a certain site containing some "Original Poems" by a young lady known as Elizabeth Atkins. Let me cut to the chase; this poetry is simply terrible. The kind of terrible where at first you think it's a parody site. Then you realise that it's for real...

Firstly there is the poetess's strange identification with objects, such as sand, oak trees, and... silverware. Yes, silverware. Then there is the obligatory teenage angst. Combined with the silverware. And in case you had no idea what sand, oak trees or silverware are, there are pictures of these items inserted ad hoc into the poetry. I think she might have been trying for some sort of "multimedia" effect.

Then of course, on the same site are the "Poems Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe". For some reason there is a picture of the guy from Smallville in one of the poems. I'm not sure what the Superman guy is doing in Poe but it doesn't look well advised.
As Gen said to me:
"Are they the kind of poems that would make Edgar Allan Poe cry?"
"No, they are the kind of poems that would give Poe an eating disorder."
Later of course I found out that this girl had to do this website as a part of some school project. I felt a bit bad about posting this review... until I realised that she appeared to be the only one in her class who had enabled public access to her site. Which is just asking for trouble. And as Gen also said:
"She didn't have to put oaks on it - if there hadn't been oaks, I wouldn't have found it, and then she wouldn't get mocked on your blog!"
Bloody school kids.


Lone Ranger said...

Speaking of writing, the title of your blog should be "Things that amuse me."

Aubrey said...

I thought my poetry was bad. God forbid anyone ever read it, I'd never get laid again, well, maybe some pity sex but really, who wants that?

nomercyboy said...

SOme poetry from Tendafoot:

Elizabeth I love you
To me you're like a tree
You're big, you're hard, you're full of wood
And...Oh wait no, that's me.

Snipergirl said...

There was a young man from Montrose
Who had a wet dream I suppose.
The landlady said,
As she changed his bed,
'This didn't come out of his nose.'

Anonymous said...

"That" would be the more appropriate pronoun to use in the case of this blog title. "Which" would be more appropriate in a case where the information presented in the subordinate clause is non-restrictive.

Aubrey said...

the Grammar Nazi strikes again!Wherever an improperly cojugated verb resides...

Beware the Grammar Nazi!

Snipergirl said...

Dear Lord! Both the Lone Ranger and Microsoft Word Spellcheck have struck this blog!

Don_Fatale said...

I was the anonymous Grammar Nazi. However, I was merely trying to call attention to myself and my blog. Check out the sound clip in my profile!!!!

Snipergirl said...

I see... it was one of you literature students with your "essays" and your "grammar" and "sentences"! Bah!

Speaking of your audio sample, not only am I muchly impressed, I am very tempted to make it my computer's shut down music... "multimedia effect" indeed!

Fah-bulous dah-lingk!

(Can I link to you?)