Wednesday, December 29, 2004

The Inadequacy of Language

Over the past year, it has come to my attention that there are quite a few concepts for which the English language fails miserably. Unsurprisingly, many of these terms are related to love and similar disasters; as we all know, the English are hardly the most passionate species. So here are some new terms which I have found myself using in an attempt to patch up these glaring holes in the vocabulary.

Ass-crack Girls:
Those girls who wear hipsters a little too low on their hips so that their ass-crack shows despite wearing a huge studded belt. Often associated with Spare Tyres.

Spare Tyre:
Bulging abdominal fat that spills out between the top of someone's jeans and the bottom of their top.

Backup Crush:
They're your friend but you flirt like mad. You know you have a bit of a crush on them but you probably don't want to date them. You might make out occasionally but you're not fuck buddies. When times are bad with your love life you often turn to them to make you feel better and more attractive.

It's not fantastic, mediocre isn't quite the world, but what it certainly isn't is terrible. And that's the important thing. The fact that it isn't terrible.

Love Interest:
The primary person who you are pursuing and are quite likely to have success with in the future. However, it's not a done deal, just very promising. Refer: romantic lead.

We are not sure what this word is or even what it means but it seems to be usually used in the context of "screw you" or "shut up" or some other combination which can be reduced to the acronym SU.

Pink Girl:
An excessively feminine girl, especially one who wears pink and follows the latest teenage fashions.

Red Woman:
One of those larger-than-life, theatrical and flamboyant women. Often wears classic, elegant designs and is associated somehow with gay people. Examples: The Extra Redundant Woman from the Glasshouse.

The act of scoring with someone who usually attracted to the gender you are not from. Usually used to refer to a homosexual pick up rather than a heterosexual one.

Someone who is definitely in the "relationship" category (as opposed to "casual" or "sex") but who isn't yet a boyfriend or girlfriend. Often used derisively esp. as in "ex-involvement".

Plus Plus:
This is added to the end of a word or phrase to emphasise or exaggerate its meaning, often sarcastically.

Slut Music:
That genre of electroclash or dance music which features suggestive female vocals over minimalist background. Examples include: Peaches, Basement Jaxx - Get me off, Death in Vegas - Hands around my throat. Often played at Alia or similar venues with a predominantly lesbian clientele.

Gay Maccas:
The 24 hour McDonalds on the corner of Victoria Parade and Smith Street. A compulsory stop after going out on a Thursday night.

Well that's all for now.
~enjoy :-)


David said...

good one.

*thinks you should add them all to a dictionary*

Snipergirl said...

Jeez, I have way too much time on my hands, huh.

Aubrey said...

You forgot one: Trustafarian

Trust-a-far-i-an: noun. One who emulates or embraces the stoner/Bob Marley worship/Rastafarian lifestyle, but is fully funded by parents.

(I didn't make this up)