Sunday, September 26, 2004

Not that amusing

"There is only one thing that people run for consistently and that is public transport"
Ok, I didn't think that quote of mine was that amusing, but everyone else seemed to.

Whatever.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Bloody Gwailos

The other day, me, Pet0r, Raunchy Librarian and Camberwell decided to go to this rather famous small, dodgy-looking dumpling house. Camberwell as usual was late. We waited for him for another 20 mins and then when we called him he still hadn't left uni. So we went and ordered pending his arrival. Of course Pet0r and Raunchy Librarian proceeded to act like those loud annoying white people at Chinese restaurants. I'll give you an example:


Raunchy Librarian (loudly): Oh my god, dish of vegetables my ass, there's only ONE kind of vegetable here!!
Pet0r (also loudly): Eww this looks like SNOT! I'm not eating that!!

At this point of course all the Chinese denizens of this small dumpling house have turned to look at us threateningly and rather ironically I find myself telling those two off for being loud, rude and idiotic. They didn't even appreciate the dumplings after all of that...

Honestly mate. That is so rude!

Friday, September 17, 2004

Small Piece of Conversation

Minty-Fresh: Oh look, Elaine is behind you!
Me: Oh hi Elaine!
Elaine and Minty-Fresh start poking each other
Me: The Fur Seal and the Mouse are poking each other!
Elaine (astonished): You're a Fur Seal?
Minty-Fresh: Why, yes.
Elaine: Hi.
Minty-Fresh: Hi.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Dinner with Dr Thing

So, in one of my few college dinner appearances, I sat next to Fearsome_Beret and good ol' Dr Thing. As usual I was laying down my "I got more passports than you all, and I can be Australian or International when it suits me" schtick. Let me make it clear I was being my usual self, and therefore not really caring all that much about the competition aspect of it... Let me now repeat for you how the conversation went so wrong:

Me: I gots more passports than you no-passport los0rs.
Fearsome: Well, I got no reason to leave the country so why would I have a passport?
Dr Thing: You may have passports but I have a girlfriend*
Me: I've made out with your girlfriend*
Dr Thing: And she said you were crap
Me: How do you know I don't have a girlfriend anyway?
Dr Thing: Because you never have before...
Me: Well I could secretly be seeing someone and you'd never know...*
Dr Thing: Prove it. Tell me who she is...
Me: Well, if it's a secret I can't tell you can I?
Dr Thing: There is no-one is there...
Me: I was speaking hypothetically, in the case that that person existed.

*Note the fact that these sentences are both true AND funny.

Ad infinitum.

I told Minty-Fresh about it. I believe she was suitably amused by the irony. Well, I hope so at the very least.

Amusingly enough today, Dr Thing joined Minty-Fresh and I after dinner today. And wouldn't LEAVE when I wanted to talk to her privately.

Hmmm... I wonder why.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Philosophy of Sex

Today, I asked Aetherfox whether he'd be top or bottom in sex, and then I groped myself, while looking thoughtfully into the distance...

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

First Aid

Me: "Yeah, I did Level 2 First Aid. What's the worst situation you can imagine yourself in where you have to assist with first aid?"
Palm Tree Girl: "So there's this guy, he's sitting on a cliff surrounded by fire, and I just go and sit on a chainsaw."